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Slot Review: Silver Kiss

Like anything else in this world, there are certain slots that stand up to the tests of time. And then, there is Silver Kiss – a game that frankly sucked the first time we played it, and has done nothing but reveal new embarrassments with every fresh spin of its ignominious reels. Silver Kiss is Slotland’s adult novelty pokey, the main point of which is to persuade virtual girls to get naked with each successful winning combination. Just as was the case the last time we played this game, we find it hard to believe that anyone is going to be desperate enough to see a nude woman (especially when already signed on to the world wide web) to continuously throw money away on a game that really is a bottom-of-the-barrel offering. Thirteen year old horndogs might, but they aren’t allowed to play slot machines in the first place. Therefore, we can’t figure out the target audience for this title.

Silver Kiss is a five-reel, two-line online slot. It sounds like a bizarre configuration, and it is. The game is shaped like a plus sign (+), with five boxes. Each box operates independently with its own virtual icons, the result of which constitutes one reel. The horizontal and vertical axes are the paylines on which the game’s results are based. Coin values start at twenty-five cents, and range upwards to one dollar. Max coins is set at a value of four. Four dollars per spin is not too much at all, except that the game isn’t even worth that much. Silver Kiss is tied into Slotland’s progressive jackpot network. Normally, we think pretty highly of these affiliated games, but Silver Kiss is undoubtedly the black sheep of the bunch.

The images on the reels are those of women’s faces. If you line up three pictures of the same girl, you will be treated to a larger and more revealing image of her. The next win will show you even more of her “goods,” with each consecutive win up to the fifth showing you more and more of the naked girl like Salome parting the veils – except significantly less classy. The end result is nothing that can’t be seen for free on any soft-core nasty site on the internet, if we are to be perfectly honest. Slotland is very proud of the customizable aspect of this game, with the user able to choose photo galleries ranging from couples to lesbians. Really, though, it’s all the same dreck. The central conceit of making a digital image less clothed through progressive online slot wins is pathetically desperate, and borders on creepy. It’s not naughty or fun, in truth.

Slotland obviously knows that this game is sordid entertainment at best, because it does not advertise for Silver Kiss on the main page of its casino. There are text-only links from other slot games, which is the only way that you would unearth this stinker without hearing about it elsewhere. By all means give Silver Kiss a few spins, but don’t complain if you end up disappointed. We’re all adults here, and there are definitely cheaper and better-quality thrills to be found if that is what one is seeking. If you want to play a decent slot game, however, this is probably not where you should start your search.

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